Thursday, April 14, 2016

The Wyatt Family: Bought and Paid for by the Authority

I've had myself convinced of this for the longest time now and I figured I'd share it with you guys to get it off my chest.

The general idea is simple: The Wyatt Family, from the moment they debuted on the main roster, were sleeper agents for The Authority.

The Wyatt Family debuted on July 8th, 2013. Why is that significant? Why would they attack Kane on their debut? Well because the week before, on July 1st, 2013, Kane beat Randy Orton. Orton was the Authority's golden child, they saw him as "THE man", the face of the company. They couldn't have Kane thinking he was better than Orton, but at the same time they couldn't let Orton know that they were taking Kane out of the picture either - they'd done a fabulous job building up Orton as their golden boy, and knew that if they told him they were taking Kane out, he'd disagree with the decision. So to avoid that headache, they just debut their new sleeper agents...The Wyatt Family. The Wyatts had been getting vignettes for a few weeks at that point, so they were already going to be showing up eventually...why not kill two birds with one stone? The Authority sicked the Wyatts on Kane and eventually Kane challenged them to a Circle of Fire at Summerslam. The Family helped Bray to win, and then the three of them abducted Kane - they carried him up the ramp, through the curtain, and that was the last we saw of him.

Or at least, it was the last we saw of him, until his return at the Hell in a Cell PPV. Kane returned to chokeslam The Miz. That's really all he was there for. I mean sure he booted Rowan and tossed Harper out of the ring, but he was pissed at those guys for being so damn rough on him back in August, and did no real damage to them. His purpose with this return was to shut Miz the hell up. Why? Because leading up to this, Miz was feuding with...you guessed it, Randy Orton. This was back when The Authority wanted Orton to be more sadistic and to prove his worth, he assaulted Miz in front of his parents. Orton ended up kayfabe injuring Miz, and when Miz came back a month or so later, he had a match against Orton. He was about to lock Orton into the figure 4 leglock when who's jump scare would play to distract him? The fucking Wyatt Family. So they distract Miz and Orton gets the pin, then they cut a gibberish promo on Miz. The following week we had the Wyatt Family vs. Miz and Kofi Kingston. This was the Hell in a Cell go-home show. The Family won, but they did so by pinning Kofi, so obviously The Authority felt the need to really finish the job on Miz at HiaC by having their new recruit (thanks to the Wyatts), Kane, chokeslam the fuck out of him.

The following night on Raw, Kane gave his mask to Stephanie and would from that point on be known as Corporate Kane. The Wyatts abducted him, and the next two appearances he made were to chokeslam a guy the Authority had a problem with, and then joining the Authority.
So after Kane was recruited to the Authority, they decided to use the power of the Wyatts to not only take out, but also distract (as in, keep away from Orton and his world title) their most formidable opponent...Daniel Bryan. Survivor Series we had Bryan teaming with CM Punk to take on Rowan and Harper, but Bryan and Punk won. So rather than trying to take both those guys out with the Wyatts, the Authority attempted to divide and conquer. They removed Punk from the Wyatt/Bryan situation and fed him to the Shield. Bryan would face the Wyatts. Both 3-on-1 handicap matches that happened at TLC. Punk won his match against the Shield due to a miscommunication within the Shield, but Bryan was defeated by the Wyatts.

That didn't stop Bryan's momentum though, so the Authority kept sending the Wyatts after him. Again and again, night after night, until eventually Bryan gave in and voluntarily joined the Family. That is, until he turned on them in that cage match. Even then though, the Authority absolutely refused to even give him the opportunity to challenge Orton for the WWE title, so they put him in a singles match against Bray Wyatt at the Royal Rumble PPV, and used that as an excuse to keep him out of the Rumble match itself.

That's not all the Authority had the Wyatts do at the Royal Rumble PPV though. They also had them distract John Cena in the WWE World Heavyweight Championship match. The Authority's biggest priority at this point is keeping that title on Randy Orton, and they used the Wyatts to do it.

So, after Wyatt takes care of business at the Rumble, the following night on Raw we have Bryan calling the Authority out on their decision to not let him compete in the Rumble match. This led to Triple H sending the Shield out to attack Bryan to shut him up, but John Cena and Sheamus hit the ring for the save. Triple H set up a 3 on 3 match to qualify for spots in the Chamber match. Who interfered? The fucking Wyatt Family. They do exactly what Triple H told them to do - attack the Cena/Bryan/Sheamus team. This pissed the Shield off though, and those guys started getting a bit confrontational with the Wyatt Family.

This leads me to what's probably my biggest piece of evidence to support this theory. On the January 31st episode of Smackdown, the Shield were pissed the fuck off at the Wyatts for costing them spots in the Elimination Chamber match. They were talking about how they were going to "deal with" the Wyatts and such. Vickie Guerrero, who was still the de facto Smackdown GM at the time, came out and said she was going to "make history", probably implying she was about to make a Shield vs Wyatts match on Smackdown. But...she got cut off by Triple H.

H came out and tried to calm the Shield down. Here's exactly what he said to them:
Here's the thing guys, it's water under the bridge, alright? Let it go. Let it go. Trust me on this. There's no profit in it. There is nothing to benefit, there's nothing to gain. Okay? Wrong place, wrong time, bad situation, but all there is in this, is loss. All there is in this is more problems. Just let it go, alright?

Now if that doesn't sound like a man desperate to keep his ducks in a row, I don't know what is. He doesn't want the Shield having beef with the Wyatts because they're both employed by him and he can't have them fighting each other when he still has jobs for them to do, for him. He's basically panicking at this point, trying to brute force the Shield into backing off the Wyatts and not wanting to get revenge for the title opportunity they lost.

The unfortunate thing here (for the Authority, at least) is that this led to the Shield growing unhappy with the Authority telling them what to do, who to be mad at, who to attack, etc. So by Triple H trying to prevent his two best fighting dogs from wanting to kill each other, he lost the trust of one of them. He realized what was going to happen so rather than trying to fight against the current, he sets up a match between the Shield and the Wyatts at Elimination Chamber PPV. This does a few things that benefit Triple H. First of all, it keeps the three young, hungry members of the Shield focused on something that isn't the WWE World Title, which Triple H desperately wants to keep around Randy Orton's waste at all costs. Second of all, it allows the Wyatt Family to prepare for the match, and Triple H knows in his heart that the Wyatts are the more powerful trio of the two, so he's confident they can get the job done. By setting up this match, Triple H thinks he's taking the Shield out behind the barn and letting the Wyatt Family pull the trigger for him. Finally, it gives Triple H a big match to promote to make some extra dime off of, so losing one of his two most loyal dogs has a silver lining.

The Wyatt/Shield match went exactly how Triple H hoped - the Wyatts won fairly convincingly. This wasn't the last we'd see of them this night though. Triple H knew Orton would need help retaining his title, so he gave him the #6 spot in the chamber. When Orton finally got in the match, it wasn't long before he re-entered his pod and held the door shut in an attempt to last just long enough for Triple H's plan to come to fruition. Eventually Christian would eliminate Sheamus, Daniel Bryan would eliminate Christian, and Cena would eliminate Cesaro. This left Orton, Cena, Bryan, and Triple H's two backup plans: The Wyatt Family and Kane. The Wyatts are first, they help Orton to eliminate Cena. Then it's Kane to help Orton with Bryan. The plan succeeds and Orton keeps the title.

So now we're on the road to Wrestlemania and the Wyatts are now targeting John Cena. Triple H has decided to take the Daniel Bryan problem into his own hands (literally) by making himself the ultimate obstacle for Bryan to overcome at Wrestlemania if he wants a shot at the world title, but Cena is still a problem, so Wyatts. You can't beat Superman though, so Cena wins this feud. After Wrestlemania the Shield are really starting to piss Triple H off too, but the Wyatts are already busy with Cena, so he reforms Evolution to try and humble the Shield boys. He fails miserably, but he does have a bit of an epiphany around this time. Randy Orton just isn't cutting it anymore as the face of the company. So he cuts a deal with Seth Rollins to make him the new golden boy, and benefits doubly because this also gets the Shield out of his hair by effectively abolishing it.

That said though, the Wyatts did an excellent job of holding Cena off, keeping him out of the world title picture for a few months while Triple H threw Kane at Bryan and then Bryan got injured, making Triple H's job quite a bit easier. What this meant though was that Triple H had a new job...get the WWE World Title on Seth Rollins. The next PPV was Money in the Bank. Seems easy enough, right? He uses his resources (namely, Kane) to ensure that Rollins wins the title. Triple H is fairly confident that Rollins can beat pretty much anyone for the WWE title with the MitB cash-in, but he still hedged his bets by putting Wyatt in there in an attempt to prevent Cena or Roman Reigns from winning, and of course he asked Kane to try and help Randy. But Kane's a smart guy, he knows where his bread is buttered, and he knew that Rollins was a priority over Orton. So we get a little lazy here and allow John Cena to win the title, but Rollins gets his briefcase so we're off to the races with that.

It's at this point that the Wyatts are essentially laid off. Triple H knows that as long as Rollins holds the Money in the Bank briefcase, he doesn't have anything to worry about. So he lets John Cena hold the title, then puts him up against Brock knowing that Brock is back in fighting shape and will most likely win the title. The Wyatts get to beat up old man Jericho in the meantime, which makes sense since Jericho pretty much stands for everything Bray hates about the world. Rock stars, attention seeking, glitz, glamor, the light-up jacket, Bray just plain hates everything Jericho stands for. At one point Jericho does insult Randy Orton, and gets fucked up by Orton for it. Bray also let Rowan and Harper do their own thing for a while, and Rowan got a little carried away, but Bray gained more respect from them by doing this.

So then we have Hell in a Cell. Dean Ambrose has become a pain in the fucking ass for the Authority at this point, constantly trying to beat up their new golden boy, Seth Rollins. Ambrose and Rollins main event this show in a Cell, and Ambrose is just ripping Rollins apart. Just as Ambrose is about to beat Rollins, who shows the fuck up? The god damn, mother fucking, Wyatt Family. Well really it's just Bray this time, but still. There's no fucking way this shit is a coincidence. Why the hell would Bray give a shit about Dean Ambrose unless it was a hit put out specifically by the Authority for Ambrose fucking with Rollins so much leading up to this event?

The following 3 months were all just Bray Wyatt relentlessly going after Dean Ambrose. This kept Ambrose out of Rollins' hair for the most part, so it accomplished what it was meant to. The Authority had the perfect plan for the Rumble too - Big Show and Kane are on our payroll, so those guys can just eliminate everyone and then fight between each other to see who'll be the man to beat down the WWE World Heavyweight Champion down at Wrestlemania so Seth can cash in and become champ. The plan was foiled by Roman Reigns, but it still ended up working out in the end because of how brutal Roman and Brock were with each other at Wrestlemania. The goal this entire time has been getting the world title on Seth Rollins, and even if there were a few hitches along the way, in the end it worked. And the Wyatt Family helped to get it there.

As a reward for Bray helping to keep Ambrose at bay, Triple H let him choose his Wrestlemania opponent. Bray wanted an opportunity to defeat the greatest legend in Wrestlemania history, the Undertaker. So Bray knew about this program, and cut promos on the Undertaker for weeks, even MONTHS leading up to Wrestlemania. Undertaker was nowhere to be found. He was probably sitting at home confused, wondering why the hell this kid was talking about him. He eventually found out that he had a match with Bray at 'mania, but couldn't be bothered to show up since Bray was doing such a fine job of carrying the program on his back. Eventually at WM31 Taker would show up and beat Bray. Bray actually disappeared for a short time after this match.

When Bray came back, his first target was Ryback. Ryback had been a thorn in the Authority's side for quite a while, including being a member of Team Cena back at Survivor Series. It was Ryback, Dolph Ziggler, and Erick Rowan, oddly enough, that helped Cena to overcome the Authority back in November. Those three guys also teamed up to take on the team of Rollins, Kane and Show at Fastlane that year. Ziggler was being handled by the returning heel Sheamus, Rowan was sort of irrelevant, and now Ryback would be taken care of by Wyatt.

The two biggest threats to the Authority and Seth Rollins' title reign at this point were Roman Reigns and Dean Ambrose. Ambrose was kept at bay with the help of Kane, Big Show, and J&J security, leaving Wyatt to handle Reigns. Not only that, but eventually the Wyatt Family was keeping both Roman AND Ambrose away from Seth Rollins and the world title - a truly masterful job. Wyatt cost Roman the Money in the Bank briefcase, which was huge. Let's face it, if Roman got that briefcase, the Authority would have felt powerless to stop him from taking Seth's title. Bray handled that business flawlessly. Bray feuded with either Roman or a combination of Roman and Dean for literally 5 months, until Seth Rollins injured his knee.

And so ends our story...the Authority not having a horse in the race meant they didn't really know who to sick the Wyatt Family on, so they just stopped paying them all together. The Authority continued to use their power to pit Roman and Dean against both great odds and even each other. They realized that Sheamus had the MitB briefcase so they slipped him a little extra cash on the side to ensure that he'd cash in on whoever won the World Title at Survivor Series. That worked for a whole day. Roman won the title, lost it to Sheamus, and then won it back the following night on Raw. This led to Triple H being fed up, annoyed at not having a horse in the race, and just completely done with the whole situation. So what does he do? Makes Roman defend the title against everyone. The Royal Rumble. And inserts himself into the match, and wins it. So Triple H's new horse in the race is...Triple H. He holds the title until Wrestlemania, where he does (yet again) everything in his power to keep it, but ROAMIN IS JUST TOO DAMN STRONK. We haven't seen Triple H since, and Shane McMahon has been controlling Raw for the last two weeks. We don't know what Triple H will do next, but if I had to guess, he'll either try to win back the title himself, or find a new horse to back.

Either way, the coolest thing about his is that the Wyatts were in on it the whole fucking time. Right up until Rollins got hurt and Triple H stopped needing them. This also explains the Royal Rumble interaction between Bray and H. H wanted them to work together since they were aligned for so long, and even let his guard down. Bray wasn't having it though, as now that he was a free man and no longer working for Triple H, he had all the intention in the world to actually try to win the world title for himself.

So...over sixteen thousand characters later, here we are. Triple H nowhere to be found. Bray Wyatt has become what seems to be a babyface. Roman is champion. Shane is running Raw. What's next?

Friday, July 17, 2015

NJPW + WWE working together? My fantasy booking nonsense.

Obvious headliner: John Cena vs. Hiroshi Tanahashi
Also fairly obvious: Dean Ambrose vs. Shinsuke Nakamura

Just going to keep going until I get bored.

Randy Orton vs. Kazuchika Okada
Brock Lesnar vs. AJ Styles
Cesaro vs. Tomohiro Ishii
Seth Rollins vs. Kota Ibushi
Kevin Owens vs. Toru Yano
Curtis Axel vs. Tomoaki Honma
Bray Wyatt vs. Togi Makabe
Rusev vs. Bad Luck Fale
Rowan & Harper vs. Anderson & Gallows
Roman Reigns vs. Tetsuya Naito
Bad News Barrett vs. Kenny Omega
The Usos vs. The Young Bucks
Neville vs. KUSHIDA
Sheamus vs. Hiroyoshi Tenzan

And I'm done.  Mind boggling.

Friday, June 26, 2015

The 10 Relevant Babyfaces in WWE RIGHT NOW

I was just looking over this block and immediately noticed that the most recent post - my revision from the "4 relevant babyface rule" to the "2 relevant babyface rule (per hour)" stands true even 2 years after I made the post.  Check this out:

PRIMARY
John Cena
Roman Reigns
Dean Ambrose
Randy Orton

Secondary
Dolph Ziggler
Ryback

Tertiary
Neville
R-Truth

Quaternary
Darren Young
Titus O'Neil

Kind of odd how consistent WWE is, isn't it?  There are very few other babyfaces on the roster and the list of names consists of jobbers (Zack Ryder) and comedy acts (Macho Mandow/Axelmania) with no truly "relevant" names remaining.  You look at the heel side though and the deck is absolutely stacked (or, as Orton would say, the dack is absolutely stecked) with names from top to bottom.  Seth Rollins, Kane and Big Show are all in the same, main event level, "PRIMARY" faction.  Kevin Owens is another one I'd call a "PRIMARY" heel.  You've also got the New Day, three heels whose relevance bounces anywhere from quaternary to secondary.  Speaking of New Day, they recently teamed up with Bo Dallas, so toss him in there as well.  We can't forget Bray Wyatt either.  He's in the PRIMARY section for sure given his recent history.  Top that off with names like Luke Harper, Erick Rowan, Bad News Barrett, Mark Henry, The Miz, Rusev, and of course everybody's favorite guy to hate right now, Sheamus.  That's 15 heels - 3 for every 2 relevant babyfaces on the roster.

WWE's consistency is almost as impressive as my ability to observe and over-analyze everything.  If you just can't get enough of my overly analytical mind, be sure to stay tuned to TWitWoW where John (formerly known on YouTube as pacifist299 and VocalAggression) and I discuss Raw, Lucha Underground and NXT every single week, and record our live reactions to PPVs and just about every other major wrestling show we can get our hands on.

Saturday, July 20, 2013

Relevant Face Revision: From 4 to 10

Before the introduction of the "Super Show", I came up with a rule that I briefly mentioned in my second ever post on this blog.  I called said rule the "Four Relevant Face Rule" (FRFR), which is self-explanatory.  But, if you're unsure, let me clear it up.  The rule states that the WWE prefers to focus on four babyfaces on Raw, as well as four on Smackdown.  The purpose that this concept provided at the time was to create an "us against the world" mentality amongst the casual fanbase.  The limit placed on the number of relevant babyfaces presented by each show allowed the WWE to highlight each individual babyface more efficiently and with more depth.  The idea is that if four babyfaces lose to a dozen heels, nobody loses credibility.  The numbers being as uneven as they are allows for more shallow, gimmicky heels and more well rounded, in-depth and most importantly, relatable, babyfaces.

Thursday, July 26, 2012

My 9-Month Prior Wrestlemania XXIX Dream Card

I said I'd continue this series every month, but I ended up taking a few month hiatus due to the combination of life sucking up all my muse, and YouTube and TWitWoW being sufficient vents for what muse was left.  It's time for a throwback, though: The Return of the Wrestlemania Dream Card series.  With CM Punk's recent heel turn, my mind has gotten a solid shot of adrenaline in the muse department and I'm going over multiple scenarios in my head regarding what WM29 can be.  We're talking about a card that would live up to its 10-year anniversary show: WM19, arguably the greatest Wrestlemania in history.  Make note that this card is only taking into account what we KNOW can happen, and not assuming anybody debuting that we don't know about for sure.  Unfortunately...that translates into no Dean Ambrose.  I hope the WWE changes this card by debuting him, but they haven't yet, so obviously no promises can be made.

Monday, January 2, 2012

My 3-Month Prior Wrestlemania XXVIII Card

As I said, I'm going to continue doing these monthly.  Granted, this one's a day late, but better late than never.

1. The Rock vs John Cena - This is a given, obviously.
2. The Undertaker vs Triple H - As great as this match could be, I feel like Undertaker vs Kane would be better.  Nonetheless, this is the most likely match to happen at Mania this year, and these guys are going to leave everything they have out in that ring - possibly in a literal sense.

Wednesday, December 28, 2011

1.2.12 is Chris Jericho - and here's why.

Chris Jericho's WWF debut saw a countdown clock leading up to his debut.  There was no code to break or anything to figure out - it just forced you to sit and wait for the clock to hit zero in order to find out what it was for.

When he returned in 2007, we had a code that was meant for viewers to break.  It wasn't extremely difficult but if you weren't computer savvy or smart enough to realize that letters can be given number associations, you didn't know what it was and again, you just waited for it to happen.

In 2011, we have been given new promos and if they are for Chris Jericho, they certainly aren't going to be a countdown or some alphanumeric code for you to try breaking.  Jericho is an evolving character that hates being repetitive.  In 2011, the itbegins series is a series of symbolic representations of Chris Jericho and his first target when he returns on January Second.  In this post, I explain everything.