Vengeance will be...few and far between.

I'm pretty much going to come right out and say it: it was difficult for me to get inspired to make this Vengeance post.  Not because I'm losing my passion; no, that's something that will never die.  But because Vengeance just seems like such an irrelevant PPV in my eyes.  It has a touch of irony to it, too, because I honestly don't see many of the people going into this PPV screaming "VENGEANCE WILL BE MINE" actually winning.  Mark Henry is saying Vengeance will be his, but as far as the storyline goes, Big Show is seeking vengeance WAY more than Henry.  That being said, I find it unfortunate that the WWE has 8 matches scheduled for this PPV.  It makes it feel even more insignificant and not worth buying than it already did, and that says a lot.  I've loved that the WWE has recently adopted the mindset that PPVs are better with fewer matches - for a long time there people were saying that WWE PPVs felt like nothing more than expensive episodes of Raw.  For the last couple of PPVs, there have been fewer matches on the card, the matches get more time, and longer matches feel more important than any match Raw can offer.  This PPV might not feel the same, but I still feel like with good time distribution, the matches that mean the most will still feel at least somewhat important.

Here's what the card has shaped up to be for Vengeance, in the order that I'm predicting it'll be in.

U.S. Title Match: Dolph Ziggler (c) vs. Zack Ryder
Sheamus vs. Christian
WWE Divas Title Match: Beth Phoenix (c) vs. Eve Torres
WWE Tag Team Title Match: Air Boom (c) vs. Swiggler
Randy Orton vs. Cody Rhodes
WWE World Title Match: Mark Henry (c) vs. Big Show
Last Man Standing Match for the WWE Title: Alberto Del Rio (c) vs. John Cena

CM Punk and Triple H vs. The Miz and R-Truth

So, let's get started.

"I'M READY FOR THE MAIN EVENT!"

If I were behind the pen for this company, Dolph Ziggler would walk out with two titles to his name.  He has been the most consistent performer in the WWE behind Cena, Punk and Orton both in the ring and on the mic.  Next time you watch a Dolph Ziggler match, count how many bumps he takes.  The man is an absolute bumping machine, the likes of which hasn't been seen since Shawn Michaels retired.  Ziggler's mic work lately has also been borderline exceptional, and the fact that he has so much going for him says (to me, at least) that one of two things are going to happen on Sunday.  Either he's going to win the Tag Team titles and go on a Miz-esque run with multiple titles, OR he's going to drop his United States title and get immediately propelled into the Main Event picture, possibly even getting his first WWE Title shot against Alberto Del Rio at Survivor Series.  So, for me, with Ziggler at Survivor Series it's literally all or nothing.

Sheamus is facing Christian.  Again.  Hell in a Cell saw this match jerking the curtain, but after the performance that they delivered in that opening spot, they might be able to move up a bit on the card.  On the other hand, the WWE might see how GREAT of a curtain jerker this match was at Hell in a Cell and try to recapture that spark by doing the exact same thing in this show.  I think that, since Dolph Ziggler is working two matches, he's got to be the one jerking the curtain so that he can get his kayfabe rest in between matches.  Another possibility is that the Ziggler will be made to work both matches back to back, using psychology in the tag match to sell Ziggler's exhaustion by having Swagger work the majority of the match and hesitating to tag Ziggler in.  For now, though, we'll go with Ziggler jerking the curtain to, again, get his kayfabe rest between his matches.  Can you tell I'm trying to fill space?  Simply put, if Christian wins this match, I'll be astonished.  Christian is being used as enhancement talent, and that's exactly what he should be getting used as.  Sheamus is being groomed to be the next contender for the World Title once Mark Henry runs through Big Show and possibly a returning Kane.

Can we call this card a quadruple main event?  There are two main event title matches, a match involving Randy Orton, and the TRUE main event, the tag team match between Awesome Truth and CM Punk and Triple H.  As odd as it may sound because of the irrelevance that seems to surround this PPV, the WWE has successfully created a perfect halfway divide between the Main Event(s) and the lower card with literally NO Midcard whatsoever.  The Divas match comes earlier than usual in this PPV so that the Tag Titles can do their damnedest to act like a midcard before the four massive matches involving the WWE's real main eventers.  The Diva's match doesn't matter because the whole thing revolves around Kelly Kelly; if Beth wins, Kelly is next in line.  If Eve wins, Kelly turns heel and is still next in line.  It's a zero sum, and Kelly Kelly is still the center of attention in the Diva's division.  I've already addressed the tag match when I addressed Dolph Ziggler, so I'll specify my stipulation here: if Dolph Ziggler retains his US Title, Swiggler is finally going to win the tag titles.  If Ziggler loses his US title, Air Boom will retain.

Orton is willing to make Rhodes look good
at his own expense - who else can say that?

Now, onto the interesting stuff: the quadruple main event.  Randy Orton vs Cody Rhodes is the least important match of the four, so that'll probably go first.  I do not expect this match to be a defining match in Cody Rhodes' career, simply because I think the WWE will save that event for Survivor Series when Cody Rhodes will (this is a prediction) successfully defend his Intercontinental title against The Viper.  I see Orton winning this match in an extremely competitive, possibly 20+ minute show-stealing match.  I think that the WWE should be able to milk this rivalry out for a while with a blowoff match at TLC in December, possibly even with Randy Orton winning the Intercontinental Title.  Would anybody complain as long as Rhodes successfully defended his title against Orton at Survivor Series?  I wouldn't.  I understand that the WWE is trying to put Mark Henry out there as their monster heel and I've been saying for weeks (months?) now that Sheamus is going to be the man to take Henry's title from him.  What does that mean?  It means that the WWE needs to find something productive for Randy Orton to do while the World Heavyweight Championship actually lives up to its name: a Championship contended for by Heavyweights.  I would love to see Randy Orton as the Intercontinental Champion again, if for no other reason because it was Orton's first title and that alone gives me reason to believe that he would have a desire to hold it.  Cody Rhodes is a shining light on Smackdown and, even lately, on Raw.  He has a future as a Main Eventer, but it just isn't his time yet.  He'll be enjoying his feud with the most relevant superstar on Smackdown up to and possibly even well into 2012.

A preview of Sunday's World Heavyweight Title match

Up next, we have the World Heavyweight Championship match.  And I mean that in every sense of the word.  A one on one match with almost 900 lbs and 80 years worth of human in the same ring, at the same time.  Anybody who thinks this match is going to be horrible is a mark, and I'm not joking.  The Big Show might be the best athlete in the WWE, given his immense size.  The man weighs almost 500 lbs and he runs the ropes faster than most 115 lb Divas.  I understand that this match might be slow paced, but slow paced does not equal bad.  I'm expecting one hell of a big man match between these two, and really, if you wanted to define "clash of the titans", this is the match that I would point to, at least until The Undertaker comes back.  Mark Henry is going to retain but this match had to happen, not because it's going to be a five star classic (star rating systems are for marks) but because it makes the most sense: Mark Henry's entire character today is based off of him being attacked by an angry Big Show who had just been run over by a car.  That attack gave Mark Henry the ambition (and anger) that he's been literally running off of ever since, and while Big Show was Henry's first inductee into the Hall of Pain, now that Henry is the World Champion, Big Show feels responsible for Henry's actions while he was away.  This match is all about the story telling, not about how many maneuvers the competitors are performing in the middle of the match.

It's strange that the WWE Championship match most likely won't go on last, but I can't imagine any match other than the big tag team match going last.  It's Triple H, right?  He is the main event - just ask him.  John Cena is facing Alberto Del Rio in what has consistently been the worst hyped one on one WWE Championship Match of the year.  This is the second time this exact same match has happened and the second time it has gone COMPLETELY unhyped.  Does that mean it's going to have the exact same result?  Absolutely not.  This is going to be the match to break John Cena away from the WWE Title picture to propel him into the Main Event picture.  Seems contradictory, doesn't it?  John Cena needs to be out of the WWE Title Picture so he can get back into promoting his match with The Rock at Wrestlemania, and, what is more relevant right now, the match that will see him teaming with the rock at Survivor Series.  Alberto Del Rio wins this match and something big happens on Raw that causes Cena and The Rock to join forces and initiate a line of promos talking about how they don't like each other, but they'll team up for the good of the WWE.

What this whole pay-per-view is really all about

And now for your main event of the evening: the token Triple H match!  Triple H is teaming with the man who insulted him and his family to take on a couple of guys who Triple H fired but then the guy who replaced him in a position of authority re-hired!  Sounds like a crazy match, but it makes no sense to me, simply because when Laurinaitis announced the match, he announced it as if it was going to be some kind of punishment for Punk and Triple H immediately after the two of them destroyed Miz and Truth and chased them out of the ring.  I love WWE for the fact that they, unlike TNA, do what makes sense before they do what might be "cooler" or more exciting.  In this case, the match neither makes sense nor is it exciting.  If I didn't feel a major swerve coming, I would say Triple H and CM Punk would win the match in five minutes, if that.  What I do think is going to happen, though, is that Laurinaitis will announce that it is now a No DQ match, and Kevin Nash will make his resurgence to help Miz and Truth win the match.  This all leads up to Raw where Nash, Miz, Truth, and two other ambiguous heel superstars run amok and create a situation that requires John Cena and The Rock to join forces.

Next week, I solve world hunger.